"COMPUTER GEEKS AT PHS REJOICE"

In a groundbreaking series of events, the Computer Club at Palatine High school has finally arrived. Yes, they have always been intellectually superior to their peers, but what they had intellectually, they lacked socially. Those days are over. Never before has an order of 60 t-shirts been met with such fervor and anticipation. Some members of the club couldn't contain their enthusiasm.

Nick Bessinas, a junior and captain of the squad, said, "This is the most exciting thing to happen to the Computer Club since the Pentium 3 Processor. I'm so stoked." When asked if the t-shirts would affect his status with the young co-eds at PHS, Bessinas giggled, "You have no idea, my friend. No idea."

Computer Club morale received a major boost a few years ago when they were officially recognized as a school club, instead of the cult status they were stigmatized with the years leading up to that. Computer Club sponsor James Schager already notices a change in perception. "We went from being off the map to rock star status in 3 years, all because of the t-shirts. Are the t-shirts going to revolutionize Computer Club? Absolutely." Schager went on to say that the hype of the shirts is not confined to just Computer Club members. "I've got people in school who I don't even know asking me how they can get their hands on one. I even saw one going on ebay for $37. And there were 18 bids on it. I mean, come on."

The stylish shirts are black with white print. The club name is on the front with a snappy graphic of a keyboard. On the sleeves are "PHS" and "PIRATES." The back reads, "WE BE COMPUTER CLUBBIN'." Junior Mark Knoeppel thinks the message on the back of the shirt will become a trend. "I really think people will start to reconsider going to social clubs and begin going to computer clubs. Sure, we're not as rich, good-looking, or trendy as the common clubber, but we have our fair share of good qualities." When asked what those positive qualities were, Knoeppel said, "Um, well, you know... well. What's with all the hard questions?"

The shirts will be released sometime today, and could be seen around the school as early as this afternoon. No mention on whether or not there would be a pep rally to welcome the shirts. When asked about the excitement level for the shirts, junior Justin Downey retorted, "Shirts? What shirts?"

There you have it. The Computer Club at Palatine High School has undergone an extreme makeover, and the impact will be profound. And its sponsor couldn't be more thrilled. "I really envision seeing myself in Time Magazine's 50 Most Influential People, just below Oprah and LeBron, but above Brittney Spears. I just get so emotional thinking about it."

By,

Mr. E. Millstone

English Teacher

Palatine High School

(847) 755-1716